‘My First Film’ Review: Filmmaking Can Be A Pain In The Ass

Zia Anger’s My First Film is not only a brilliant meta film about the process of filmmaking, but it also includes other powerful themes such as romance, parenthood, pregnancy, responsibility, and feminism. “This probably shouldn’t be a film… but it is.”

One of cinema’s newest voices has possibly emerged by simply directing this captivating film that is a semi-autobiographical of the director, Zia Anger, who herself had to go through the difficult process of making a film as a young 25-year-old filmmaker making her first film titled Always All Ways, Anne Marie which was a bunch of video clips she recorded and showed to an audience. Unfortunately for Anger this wasn’t a good experience. The film follows Vita (Odessa Young), a young woman with 2 moms and an aging father, who tries to shoot a semi-autobiographical film about her life, things start to go wrong however, as she is faced with a pregnancy with a man who only thinks selfishly about himself.

Now what is really the message behind My First Film? On the surface it may seem like a generic film about filmmaking that is influenced by the filmmaker’s life, like a lot of other movies that fit under the same umbrella such as 8½ or All That Jazz, with the latter being a major influence on the film. My First Film is all of that, but it also explores female youth, diving deep into the mind of a woman who loves cinema and considers it her entire life. It is shown very clearly how much Vita cares for making this film, but unfortunately she is surrounded by a crew of stoners who don’t seem to care very much for the making of this film nor for art as a whole. It’s saddening how this is also the norm, this is how a lot of people tend to act when it comes to someone young wanting to explore their artistic side by making art but having to deal with little resources.

Additionally, one of the things I really loved was not only the portrayal of Vita struggling with shooting her movie alongside the struggle of pregnancy and abortion, but the performance Odessa Young gives in the role, she’s a rising talent only aiming for the stars. Having starred in previous indie films such as Mothering Sunday alongside Josh O’Connor, who just had his big breakout role earlier this year in Luca Guadagnino’s Challengers. I hope to see Young have her big breakout role very soon. This doesn’t mean that everyone else’s acting performances were mediocre or bad though, I loved Devon Ross’ work as Dina for example, it’s just that Young was the highlight of the movie for me.

It feels like My First Film really captures the idea of growth and loneliness as an artist. There’s something daunting about having to convince every single person on why movies matter, on why art in general matters, but the norm is for that to not be taken seriously. It’s very odd to think of how this was literally rejected by film festivals despite holding many powerful messages in it and encapsulates the difficulty of filmmaking very well, even though Anger has directed a bunch of music videos for artists such as Mitski.

I personally think My First Film is far from perfect, but that does not mean it’s bad or just “okay”. No, I think it was good! Even if I thought the film should’ve delved more into the element of chaos. In fact I’m intrigued to see what Anger will be making next and hope she has a bright career ahead of her, it’s films like these that show us the bittersweet truth of real life and pursuing art both affecting us.

My First Film is currently streaming on MUBI, I encourage you to check out the work of one of the upcoming new voices in cinema… and make sure to keep your eyes peeled for that ending…

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